Harry Potter Oneshots
by Chaosthief1
Summary: Collection of funny little one shots I end up writing
1. Chapter 1

Dobby

Harry was bleeding from his arm as Peter Pettigrew moved toward the large cauldron. The graveyard was dark and foreboding with Cedric's body cooling off to the side. Harry could only struggle against his bonds as the dark ceremony commenced. As Voldemort rose in his new body the last of the Potter line could only think about his little friend Dobby.

Shortly after the second task had finished Harry had approached the house elf. He'd sought to repay Dobby for getting him the gilly weed. Harry had agreed to bond the hyperactive little elf to his family, after Dobby had requested it.

Now, here in the graveyard, looking at what would likely be the last day of his life.

Regardless of how he fought his fate he realized the difficulty of this challenge to his survival. He said one thing before

he'd start his defiance of the Dark Lord.

"I'm sorry I couldn't help you for longer Dobby." Harry whispered more to him self than to anyone else.

"Harry Potter, welcome to my return to the Wizarding worl..." Voldemort was interrupted from his opening speech by the sound of a cannon going off in the vicinity.

Only it wasn't a cannon. As it was Dobby, the house elf, took in the scene before him. The bad rat man was missing a hand, the evil Voldemort was in a cauldron. Additional examination showed Master Harry Potter, the Great and Noble sir, was bleeding and bound to a grave marker.

"Dobby come, when called, Master Harry Potter Sir. Dobby not be knowing there be trouble. Dobby not let bad Wizards hurt Master Harry Potter Sir no more." Dobby looked crossly at the Dark wizard who laughed at the tiny creature.

"A house elf Harry? This is the best that you have to defend your self with? Most disappointing." The nose less dark lord shook his head in disgust even as the elf seem to swell with anger.

Did I mention the elf was turning a rather neon green?

"You shall not hurt Master Harry Potter Sir!" Growing four times his normal size the House elf went to town smashing the Dark Lord and his minion into veritable goo.

Apparently in Dobby's search for the Gillyweed he'd popped into a military testing area. The gamma bomb had left quite messy after affects.

"DOBBY SMASH!!!" Harry flinched as Voldemort's homunculus body took a beating that no human body could

survive. At the end Pettigrew bled out from his wound. Voldemort, with his skeleton pulverized, was unable to function yet still lived due to the magic sustaining his body.

Three days later Voldemort the flesh bag was being studied by the Unspeakables at the ministry of magic, and Harry was heading home to his relatives with a house elf to help him get through the summer. 


	2. Doll Face

Wow, some strange ideas I come up with at 2am.

"I want one!" Dudley Dursley screamed as he watched the commercial on the telly.

"No problem son. I'll see what I can do." Vernon said assuring his son that he'd provide one of the toys presented on the commercial. How hard could it be?

Three weeks later and the day before his baby boy's birthday he was still searching for the blasted toy. He was looking around a small toy store in downtown London when he was startled by a shop keeper.

"May I help you find something sir?" The eerily silent moving old man asked of Vernon.

"Yes, I'm looking for a toy for my son." Vernon said as the man gestured for him to follow.

"I believe this is what you are looking for?" The store keeper handed a box containing the very toy he'd been searching for.

"That will be," He examined a price tag, "30 pounds."

The relief in Vernon's eyes was visible, it wasn't nearly as expensive as he'd expected it to be, and it appeared to be exactly what his son had been wanting.

Paying the man, he quickly left the shop completely ignoring the eerie nature of the shop and the shopkeeper.

He was simply happy to provide the toy his son so surely deserved.

The next morning after a massive birthday feast, and the boy was put in his cupboard for the day, Dudley was given his presents. While Harry watched from a crack in his 'room', his cousin was tearing into his presents with a frenzy.

Roughly in the middle of long line of presents Dudley found the toy his father had spent so much time searching for during the last weeks.

"Hi, I'm Chucky, and I'm your friend till the end. Hidey-ho ha ha ha." The red haired toy doll said blinking its eyes and turning its head toward Dudley. Dudley looked at it, set it aside and moved on to opening his other presents. None but Harry noticed as the doll turned to take in the living rooms and scowl with an evil look on the plastic molded face.

Harry Potter successfully survived the next two days because miraculously nothing could open his cupboard door or penetrate his little sanctum. His magic reacted to his fear and kept him safe until the danger of the possessed doll passed.

Later in life, after learning about magic, he became a leading producer of defensive magical products and spell creation. His personal specialization was in destroying possessed and cursed items. Horcruxes were simple to deal with after he worked out what had destroyed his Aunt's family.

It wasn't child's play to reach a place that he felt safe in, but after many years of work he felt more secure in his life. If that doll returned, well, it wouldn't get within a three mile radius of his home or his family.

To be continued... Maybe... who really know when my next late night inspiration will arrive.

AN: Might play around a bit more fleshing it out, haven't decided yet.


End file.
